The tired and restless days continue. As if life is one long blur trying its best to make you dizzy and fall to the floor. Somehow I manage, not by any power of my own, to stay standing. Not just standing but moving forward, or, at least, it feels like it’s forward. Pushing forward through the maddness, pushing through the weak and emptiness, pushing through life itself into something that I can’t even begin to define. I wonder: are we all this way? Am I really that special? I’ve always thought: If I am one of the smarter that humanity has to offer, when we’re all in a lot of trouble. Because I’m only so much and I make mistakes too. Except that much is expected of me and much is given to me to be responible for. So, when I mess up, it can be big, affecting much more than just my life and the lives of those near me. No, even if this is some waking dream, this is still my reality, and I will not give up. Not for my sake, but for the sake of that which I love: for the sake of God who put this path down before me, and all I have to do is walk it. I am not defined by my job. I am not defined by thee things I own, the things I own, or the people I surround myself with. I am defined by my thoughts and my thoughts alone, for they are the closest thing that I can call mine.
Forgive the existentialist rant. We return to your regularly schedule TV enima in 3… 2… 1…
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